Trevor

I've been running on the CROSS COUNTRY team all winter, but I'm NEVER gonna be as good at running as TREVOR!

HE'S the team CAPTAIN, and even though he doesn't talk to ME very much, I ALWAYS listen to him when he tells us about the best ways to run and WORK OUT and stuff.

Like how he told us to eat lots of CARBS the night before a race... I REALLY followed his advice and told my MOM she hadda make me a HIGH- CARB dinner last week before our race.

She's RETARDED though, and made a DISGUSTING dinner of PASTA with BEANS on it!
I didn't WANNA eat it, but I DID.

You PROBABLY think that I'm gonna tell about how I FARTED like KRAyzEe the next day and the TURBO BOOST from the FARTS help me run SUPER FAST and I WON the RACE and EVEN BEAT TREVOR!!!, but that's not what happened...

The next morning before my RACE, my DAD took my running shoes by ACCIDENT and wore 'em to WORK! I had NO CHOICE but to wear HIS sneakers and they FUCKING STANK but I HAD NO CHOICE!!!!

THEN, on the bus ride to the race, people on the bus started looking at me funny and i KNEW they could SMELL my DAD'S STINKY SHOES and then TREVOR said, "Yo Bort, your FEET FUCKING STINK LIKE BALONEY!!"

THEN everyone started LAUGHING and calling me BALONEY FEET!!! BALONEY FEET!!!!

THEN I STARTED FARTING FROM THE BEANS!!!!!